Changing Friend-oriented side of me ? possible?

Alone lying on my bed thinking.. I guess its really too hard for me to change that side of me.. It's just like changing a five year old kid into from a right-hander into a left-hander.. Can it be done within a year even if he tries hard? In my perceptives, even though the kid is able to do that, the words compared to using a right hand are bound to have a difference. It wont be as neat/nice/straight as using right hand. Its 5 years of right handed and its really hard for the kid to immediately changed into a left hander and write so smoothly and steadily.. right? Even if he tries hard, will anyone know tt ? Its only he/himself will knows this.. There are bound to be mistakes in between learning and no one can be that perfect to master it within a year rite? Maybe it applies to some of them but out of everyone, how much percentage will it be? 0.1% , 1%, 5% ?? Now for the kid, he is only worrying abt his handling but me? Schoolwork, family, relatives and her? Its stressful, but still able to cope but comments were I never tried putting in any effort is doing that.. Everyone out there, will u be able to take it ? Not even an improvement on that? NO.. Now u people should understand why I say only the kid himself knows if there's any improvement..

Family the same thing, my mum is the most difficult area that I've to go through and thank god my dad just need to see if there is any improvement. "Mummy, I got B+ for science test.." Huh B+ only? why never get an A? Everyday see you playing computer not studying.. Did she take into account whenever she see me studying alone till 2am? No i guess not.. Why in life people just cant gauge the improvement level other than they themselves? It is just like everything I've tired to do, are just being washed away like what a simple tsunami can do to.. In every part of a life, there are bound to have such things happening but able to cope with excellent feedbacks from the public is the question that I always wanted to answer.. Able to answer is one thing able to get a good outcome is another thing..

I missed her but will she be mine again? I doubt so.. She is not feeling the love I had for her.. I have to let her go.. I did tried my best but seems like its not going my way.. Every morning her face keeps appearing in my mind, what can I do but to wash it away and continue my day? My friends are the ones who can I can enjoy with for now and not to think about her.. I tried talking to her on msn and making her feels happy again but indeed I failed.. Nowadays she is getting gastric pains and I hope she takes good care of herself.. I always kept things to myself not wanting anyone to know because I wouldnt want them to worry abt me.. They seldom see the sad side of me and even her.. Even if you guys saw, you guys din see the real sad side of me.. Sorry but it's better that I myself carry the burden.. Just want everyone to be happy with me at all times.. I've to let it all out now because I don't really feel good keeping inside..

**Nothing is impossible**
is that so ? even if I tried hard, I cant make it.. WHY ?
**Nothing is perfect**
but everyone is looking for a perfect half.. how?
**Forgive and Forget**
Are they really going to forgive and really forget?

GOD, is it possible for you to enlighten me ? pls?

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